The Madness Continues, New Moon Review 11

I’M BACK! POSSIBLY! HOORAY!

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I gotta say, I absolutely did not miss this garbage. Not one bit. But, I’m trying to dedicate myself more to my projects and actually finish them. This is one of my projects and I still have faith in it (in theory). A lot has happened since I last wrote a review, most of it recently. I lost my best friend the day after Christmas and that has made me reevaluate my life. I don’t want to leave things unfinished anymore. Not even this. I committed to this project and dammit if I’m not going to see it through to the bitter end.

In keeping with the spirit of change, I have decided to add a new element to my reviews. From now on, I will record myself reading each chapter. Out loud. I will react to them. You will laugh at me. I’ll be embedding the videos at the beginning of every review. The reviews themselves will remain unchanged for the most part, though may end up a bit shorter since I won’t be able to take notes the way I used to. But you don’t care about that stuff. You just want to see my brains leak out my ears. So let’s get to the review! Continue reading

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The Madness Continues, New Moon Review 9/10

I didn’t set out to cover two chapters with this review, but chapter 9 was just so completely pointless other than to provide some completely unnecessary foreshadowing that it didn’t warrant its own review. So I tacked chapter 10 onto it. You can imagine how excited I was. These were some fun chapters, you guys. Prepare yourselves to somehow hate Bella Swan even more than you already do. Continue reading

The Madness Continues, New Moon Review 8

This chapter made me yell out loud at the book for the first time since I started reading it again. It wasn’t just badly written, it introduced (or at least built upon) yet another horrendously dangerous behavior for Bella. This was potentially the most irresponsible chapter Stephenie Meyer has yet to write in this series. I was angry for most of it. Care to find out why?

 

New Moon, chapter 8: Adrenaline

 

This may be the single most infuriating chapter of anything I’ve ever read, guys. Seriously. I was angry at Bella for being stupid, I was angry at Meyer for being irresponsible, I was angry at myself for stupidly embarking on this voyage of masochism. Those of you who have read this book already are no doubt aware of why I’m so pissed off. For the rest of you, strap in and prepare to develop an eye twitch. Continue reading

The Madness Continues, New Moon Review 7

Can my whole review just be “BLARGH?” No? How about this?

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This is how I felt reading this chapter. I don’t even know where to start, guys. There’s self-destructive behavior, there’s mental instability, there’s more fun sexism from Stephenie Meyer. Fun for the whole family. Let’s get this over with.

New Moon, chapter 7: Repetition

The chapter starts right off the bat with Bella’s narration saying that she’s doing something she shouldn’t be doing. She doesn’t say what, but it doesn’t take long to figure out what it is. She also admits that Jacob has been a positive influence on her.

“I should have gone straight down to La Push. I felt much, much healthier around Jacob. This was not a healthy thing to do.”

This is an important passage for a number of reasons. First, it shows us that Bella is capable of recognizing that she has unhealthy tendencies and she’s able to comprehend when she’s doing them. Second, this shows us that Bella, and by extension Meyer, recognizes that Jacob is a healthy influence on her. Jacob is good for her. Even as just a friend, he makes her feel good about herself. She feels relaxed in his presence and can smile and laugh and just enjoy life. In other words, the exact opposite of how she feels when she’s around Edward. Continue reading

The Madness Continues, New Moon Review 6

Yes, folks, it’s true. I’m back. I took a sanity break from these reviews and if I’m being perfectly honest, I’m not sorry I made you wait so long for this one. I could say I was, but I’d be lying. Taking a break from this series has been so wonderful and it took all of my strength to pick this book back up again. I’ve got a few new readers, so shout out to them. Be sure to share this blog with everyone you can. If I’m gonna give myself a public lobotomy, I at least want a large audience to make it worthwhile. Now, onto the review, shall we?

*Just a reminder/tip, a lot of the pictures I post are animated GIFs, but for some reason half of them don’t move if you’re on a computer. If it looks like it ought to move and isn’t, just click on it to see it properly.* Continue reading

The Madness Continues, New Moon Review 5

This was a very ragey chapter, guys. Not in the sense that I was slamming the book and yelling at it. It was a sort of simmering, quiet rage. But it was infuriating all the same. Between Meyer’s inept use of the English language and the decisions Bella made in this chapter, I’m just so done with this whole mess. Continue reading

The Madness Continues, New Moon Review 4

I’m not gonna sugar-coat this (as if I have been this whole time): This was the worst chapter of any book that I have ever read in my entire life. Period. And I’m almost positive that it isn’t going to hold that title for very long. I have a few predictions about where this story is headed and they’re all pretty bad. I know I said I was going to start doing double reviews, but I just couldn’t do another chapter after this one, so this is only a review of chapter 4. I’ll do double reviews whenever I can, though, so you’ll definitely start seeing them more frequently. Alright, let’s get this over with. Continue reading